A couple of weeks ago, I was inspired by somebody on Instagram talking about personalizing ‘happiness’. She discussed how making happiness a priority can attract the very things that make you happy. She also explained that happiness cannot be sought out in the places we go, things we do or even the people we know, happiness must first be sought from within to generate whatever makes us happy on the outside.
For a long time, I thought my happiness was contingent upon the things that happened to me, rather than being something I could create. I often use to wonder why I couldn’t experience ‘happiness’ in some of the same ways other people did. I wondered why I didn’t feel like I was going anywhere, experiencing certain things, or even why I felt stagnant in my personal relationships with people. I wondered so much about everything around me that I failed to realize I stopped taking the time to look inward to understand what happiness looked like for me. I had stopped doing the work to make my happiness a priority, & began to think that other people, places, &/or things were supposed to provide me with that. But happiness, as it turns out, is just a personally tailored experience we must do the work ourselves to design.
It’s no secret that this year hasn’t been a cakewalk for me. I struggled with my fair share of issues financially, emotionally & otherwise, but in spite of those things finally subsiding, I still felt like I wasn’t completely happy & found that my happiness had become reliant upon things that I saw rather than what I felt. After seeing the Instagram story about happiness, I began to rethink the concept & sought to recreate what it meant for me.
At the root, happiness for me starts as a feeling & before it could be translated physically, I had to feel it. Now, it didn’t mean extra upbeat attitude 24/7 or bubbling over with butterfly kisses & rainbows, happiness as I defined it for myself meant feeling calm or at ease. When I was in a certain state of ease I found myself to be the most happy. From there I was able to pinpoint the specific things that need to be done in place in order for me to experience a certain level of happiness. I cleaned out my closet, reorganized things, updated certain routines, put a little bit more effort into getting dressed, cooked my favorite foods, watching my favorite movies & somehow began to curate a happiness that best fit me. With each effort to create a feeling of ease, I began putting steps in place to prioritize my happiness. My ‘happiness’ finally started with & was contingent upon me. And once I focused my energy in the direction of ease, I began to attract other things that added to my happiness.
While it sounds simple enough, happiness truly begins with you, & in order to cultivate that you have to figure out what happiness feels like for you. What brings you the most authentic joy? What genuinely makes you happy? Once you figure out what happiness feels like to you, then you must dedicate the effort to making it a priority through simple tasks that make you feel the most joy. It can be watching your favorite movie, washing your clothes, going for a walk, traveling, having great conversation, listening to your favorite music, laughing or even being kind to others. It can one of those things or it could be all of those things, no matter what it is, it is your job to do the things that bring you joy, so that you can experience the happiness that best fits you…
Until next time…
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