My mom and I speak a lot about authenticity, I just remember telling her how much work it takes to try to appease people and how tiring it can be. We both agreed it just took too much to keep up a charade for the sake of others. I told her deciding to be my authentic self in spite of what everyone else thought was one of the best decisions I’d made coming into (actual) adulthood. One of the main compliments I get from others is my courageousness in being my authentic self and all of who I am, at all times. When creating this blog, as I’ve said many times before, I wanted to convey a certain level of transparency that consistently demonstrated that.
I can't remember the exact day I realized I didn't want to be anyone else, but I do remember when I finally got tired of hiding from the world. For a while, I don't know why, but it just seemed easier to not be myself. Everybody liked someone else, so why not be them? I think part of it had to do with the fact that I wasn't sure who I was or if I even liked who I was becoming. But one day, I just got real tired and stopped caring, lol.
The day I grew tired, was the day I knew I no longer wanted to perform to sway or maintain others’ ideas of me. My dear friend, Dom, was my biggest push towards letting go of the fear of outside judgment. She taught me that pleasing everyone else was too big a burden for one person to carry. She would say, “you might as well live for you because honestly, besides God, WHO (?!) is anybody else?” (Lol) I bet she didn't even know how such a simple statement could put so much into perspective for me. From there, I learned who I was, was just fine, and those who had a problem with it would just have to deal with their discomfort in their own spare time, lol.
While I am putting myself on a display for the sake of my platform, I am by no means putting on a show. What I put out into the world is exactly who I am and what I feel on a constant basis. I’ve spoken about different parts of me that I’m aware of, the good, the challenging and in between. The outfits I put together for my platform is how I’d dress normally, what I say on my platform is my authentic voice, and my truth is very much present. I’m constantly thinking of various ways to express who it is I am and what it is I am bout. I am about the real, no matter what form it comes in, I am about feeling, no matter how it is conveyed, and I am about truth, no matter who’s standing in it. I am all of myself and I can appreciate others who make the conscious choice to be all of themselves. Creating the visuals for this look was an authentic process for me, the background, the video I created, the music behind it, the outfit are all various parts of who I am. I’m not looking for approval or attempting to give people a reason to like me, I am simply being and whether you like it or not, I’m going to continue to do just that because people don’t pay my bills, and neither can their opinions.
I know many people are on this hype surrounding the 90s and many people want to incorporate it into their art, but it’s legitimately a part of my aesthetic, the visuals that I put together are proof of my connection to it. The 90s is me, lol.
Don’t be afraid to be all of who you are, and if you haven’t found the courage to do it yet, let this be the message to inspire you to start standing in your authentic truth. There are going to be some who can’t handle it, but those aren’t the ones that matter because again, WHO ARE THEY? Not nobody to be worried about, lol. Remember they don’t add to your happiness, you do…
Until next time :)