Not many people are aware and are even surprised to know that I’m an introvert. People think I’m playing when I tell them I don't like people and even laugh, but I’m being absolutely serious when I say that, lol. Of course when I say that it doesn’t mean that people are awful (even though clearly some are) and I spend my days being a recluse, nah, lol. People honestly just take so much to deal with on a daily basis, I constantly find myself trying to navigate spaces and interact with people when I don’t necessarily want to. Since starting this site, I’ve had to put myself out there on a more consistent basis which is probably one of the biggest challenges I’ve faced as an introvert.
I actually hate having to network and talk to people mainly because I have this irrational fear of embarrassment. The funny thing about it is I didn’t even realize what it was until this year, but when I spoke to one of my friends he told me I’d always been introvert. Through high school well into college I truly I thought I was pretty outgoing, until I realized it was only when I was most comfortable or surrounded by people who I felt most comfortable with. Catch me by myself, I’m literally avoiding everyone and everything, and man do I HATE small talk with everything in me. I hate reaching out because half the time I don’t even know what to say, I hate being out in the open because I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing and other times I just hate being present altogether. Being me has been an incredibly interesting journey as you can probably imagine, lol.
I find so much safety in the things and people that I love, they truly make a difference when it comes battling social anxiety, but I’ve definitely made more of an effort to get out of my own way. In being aware of my hypersensitivity to people, places and things, I’ve just tried to put myself out more one step at a time. The first step was speaking my dreams aloud, the second was this blog, and the third I was going to events, and before I knew it I was out there. It’s hard all the time, but in taking the proper steps that worked best for me I was able to push myself forward.
I feel like I’ll always be an introvert especially getting older and learning more about myself, but I think I’ve finally stopped allowing it to inhibit me going forward. I do loooove my alone time though, it literally gives me time to think clearly, take a break and recharge, and there ain’t never been nothing wrong with that.
Whether you’re an introvert or not, take a break and give yourself some time to recharge, contrary to popular belief solitude is so good for soul…
I hope this inspired you, until next time…
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