I’ve always aimed to look tough, whether it be through my demeanor or my clothing, I guess you could say I liked the aesthetic of looking tough, lol. Generally, when I’m wearing my hair out in a massive Afro I can come across intimidating, which, I won’t lie, I get a bit of satisfaction out of because I generally don’t like to be bothered a majority of the time, lol. But growing up, I cried A LOT, and it was outlet I used that not many people understood and often mistook for weakness. With that came a lot of bullying and me feeling like I constantly had to prove my strength to people. It was an exhausting task, and in some cases I felt like I had to fit the bill to a T. I hated being perceived as weak, but over the years I allowed my perceived weakness to became my strength.
It really annoys me when people equate emotions to weakness, it’s kind of like equating masculinity to strength, which we all know is not always the case. Instead, I’ve learned to market my display of emotions as a sign of strength and power. My being emotional is what allows me to connect with others on a deeper level than a lot of people can, and that is a rare quality to come by especially in this day and age where people are revered for the lack of emotion and blatant disregard for others. I’m not a fan of being vulnerable, but I’ve learned to embrace it over the years.
I’ve learned that some people’s biggest weakness is not being able to express themselves emotionally at all, and dealing with those people is what makes me tough, lol. People don’t realize it, but it takes a special amount of strength to deal with the emotionally inept. To be in constant contact with the inconsiderate, the rude, the hurtful, the selfish, the mean, the disrespectful, and everything in between and still get up everyday and make the conscious decision to not become those things is an amazing feat. People are exhausting as hell, and having the sheer will power to understand and deal with them, I’d say I’m pretty damn strong, lol. I don’t want to be anybody’s perceived version of ‘tough’, I’d much rather be my own.
My best friend told me I looked like I had just gotten outta Pelican Bay when I showed her one of these pictures, and I really can’t stand her for how accurate that description is *laughs*
As usual, I hope this inspired you, until next time…
Cropped Sweatshirt/Thrifted & DIY Pants/H&M Air Maxes/Champs Gold Chain/ASOS Watch/eBay